Wednesday, April 13, 2011
What would be possible if you let go of the outcome? Often, we seem to believe that we are in control of people, circumstances, and even time. Very seldom is there really any control in our hands when it comes to the outcomes of our lives. When I feel really frustrated, really frenetic and stressed, I am often operating from that place inside me that says that I am in control of all I survey. I am choking the outcome. However, that is so untrue and limiting to what could be. As Byron Katie states, “There are three kinds of business, my business, your business, and God’s business”. My business consists of the essence of me, actions I take, or do not take, my thoughts, my feelings. Your business is the essence of who you are, your actions, your thoughts, your feelings. God’s business could be hurricanes, harvests, life, and beauty of nature…….
Recently, I had a group project due which I was quite nervous about. I had a clear vision of the goals to be accomplished, the 2-3 hours it would take, the actions that would be included, and how gloriously it would turn out if we got it together with hard work and time invested. I was partnered with someone I didn’t know and right away, we had trouble coordinating our schedules. I was concerned. Finally, we struggled to get a phone meeting set up for Monday morning, the morning the project was due. My concern grew into worry. So, I set aside most of that day to work on the project. I was distracted by the project all weekend. Monday morning rolls around.
Time for the meeting; I was really going to plow into this project. No call. I wait a few minutes; I try to call my partner. Busy. My blood pressure goes up! “What if this doesn’t get done? How will I look?” I wait there with white knuckles and finally, an instant message comes up on my computer, my partner will call in an hour. So, I file some papers; do some bills, really unable to concentrate fully.
The hour comes and goes- no call. I have a lunch with a friend that I have been looking forward to….I am frustrated, my pride is a bit hurt, my heart is pounding. Another half-hour goes by, and my partner called, very apologetic with an explanation and a request to work through lunch. So I text my friend my regrets about lunch and choke down a cold sandwich…. No call. It is due at 2:30….It is wall past noon. I took out my paints and a small canvas I had picked up on sale. I squirted directly on the canvas, opposing color, green, purple, black…..Then, something happened. As I brushed through the paint, I started to see something…a flower…..an iris.. One of my favorite flowers and favorite subjects to paint, but I haven’t had time to paint because my hours have been filled with getting those business outcomes that I wanted.
Yet, here it was-a purple iris. I liked it. Actually, I loved it. I created it. I learned that we can have a vision for how we want to be, set goals to reach that vision, take action, but really the outcomes are out of our control and sometimes more beautiful than what we originally imagined.
Oh, I forgot. For those of you who are curious about the project. My partner and I finally connected with each other an hour before the project was due. After sharing a about six sentences with each other regarding the project, we wrapped up the kernel of our project in about three words, each of us quickly getting to the crux of the task.